Chapter 1.
At Nonna's House
“I have been living alone in this house because I’m a widow. After my husband, your grandfather, died in 2009, my aunt was still living here. She died at 102 years old, in 2018. So, after all, I’ve never really been living alone. I grew up in this house, I spent my youth here because I married young, way too young. This house used to be so full of people coming and going, since my in-laws bought it. All three of my children were born here, I raised them here. My grandchildren grew up here. I made such beautiful and precious memories in this house.”
“I was only 22 when I had my first child, Alberto. He died at 4 months old for something that now could probably be easily cured. It wasn’t easy and I was so young. But then your aunt and your mom were born and I finally had my own family. I sometimes wonder if things would be different if he had survived. You would have an uncle and I would have three children. But I guess God had other plans for me and I am so thankful for the two wonderful women my daughters became.”
“I always cook for everybody for lunch. They all come over to eat together. It’s rare that they skip a day. Your mom, your brother, your aunt and, of course, you when you're here. I think it’s a way to keep me company. I don’t like cooking but I don’t mind doing it for them. It’s a habit that might sound weird to others but it’s so normal to us.
I never feel alone. I feel old, I feel tired, sometimes I feel sad. But I don’t feel lonely. I have my daughters, my grandchildren, the cat. I’m always around people and, you know, it’s good to be alone at night. I get to do my things, clean the house, watch the TV. It’s always been like this. We all gather to eat but then, when it’s done, everyone goes back to their own houses and enjoys their alone time. That is how it works with this family.”
“I love my daughters but I don’t think it’s time to go and live with them, yet. They each have their own personalities and always want things their own way. I love them but... I wouldn’t live with them. I’m not that old yet. God bless them, they’re wonderful children but seeing them at lunch is enough. I enjoy my spaces and my moments of quiet with the cat. Plus, your mom comes to bring me fresh bread every morning, your aunt calls every day and brings me with her to do the groceries. They're always around.
Your father leaving is still an open wound, I don’t know if it’ll ever heal. He used to come to lunch every day with you. The house feels a bit more empty without him. It’s hard to even talk about it. I still can’t accept that he won’t get to sit at the table with everyone anymore. But I have to stay strong for your mom and for you and your brother. You are my family and you are what matters.”
